Dual Agent
Human Khalil Al-Balawi was a medical school student in Istanbul, Turkey. While he was in medical school, he was radicalized by an Islamic extremist, and he became an extremist. He was arrested, but the CIA approached him and convinced him to be a dual agent. The CIA sees him as an assent, educated in the modern education system, especially in medicine. He went through the training, and he was assigned to Afghanistan. He was a CIA agent, working in Al-Qaida to report the activities of Al-Qaida. However, he was determined to be a triple agent, meaning he is not a dual agent of the CIA, but he was determined to be a triple agent for Al-Qaida. Human reported that he had critical intelligence for CIA superior officers and other higher-ranking military leaders. Unfortunately, Human used that opportunity to carry out a suicide attack at the command center of the CIA in Afghanistan.
In this story, we can see our human capability to bear two, or more than two, different identities. Some people are good at that. Some are not good at carrying two separate identities.
Do you remember Gollum from the movie “The Lord of the Rings”? Gollum is the character who was torn between his lust for the ring and his desire to be free from the ring. In this case, Gollum is going back and forth. It seems that he cannot get away from his desire to have the ring.
Somehow, in our spiritual journey, sometimes we realize that we bear two identities, and we are torn between these two.
Child of God & Chief of the Sinners
We have studied this notion of being the children of God. We are all created by God’s image, and we received a command to have dominion over all the earth. We humans are the only ones who received the image of God. It is a special gift from the Creator. I emphasized how important it is to remember that we are God’s children. We are all called to be the rulers of the earth, and we should proclaim this notion and exercise our rights as rulers.
However, we see the opposite side. As we, being rulers of the earth and being children of God, we cannot ignore the fact that we are also chiefs of sinners. The apostle Paul realized this and described himself like this:
This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 1 Timothy 1:15 NKJV
Paul described himself as a chief of sinners. He wanted to say that he is the worst sinner in the world. Have you ever felt like Paul about yourself? Paul described much more about the struggle that he has.
14) So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human. 15) I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16) but if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17) So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. 18) And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19) I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20) But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:14-20 NLT
Can you see the struggle that Paul had? Have you felt the same way? We are the rulers of the earth, but at the same time, we may commit the vilest sin in the world on the same day.
Life of David
A prime example is David. He became a king of all the Israelites, and everything was going well. David was anointed, chosen, and called to be a king of Israel. David had all the troubles in his life when he was running away from King Saul. Now he is in Jerusalem, no need to go out for the battles. Somehow, this anointed, chosen and called by God, David saw Bathsheba and sent for her to come to his palace. King David was a humble guy. He always wanted to be obedient to God. He was chosen as all of us to be the rulers of the earth, but not long after, David committed adultery, murder, and many more sins. While David was a man of God in every aspect of his life, David committed horrible crimes he could never imagine. David killed one of his faithful friends and took his wife as his wife.
God sent the prophet Nathan to address the situation, and let David know that he had sinned against God.
Can’t you see it? David was chosen king. At the same time, he was a serious sinner. That’s the struggle we all have. We are children of God, and we are a chosen generation of priests. But we are still selfish, and we still have struggles. We still have the desire to do something that is not right. Then what do we do?
The Plea
Psalm 51 is the song that David had written to express his desperate desire to be forgiven.
Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.
Psalm 51:1-10 NKJV
We can learn from David and this Psalm 51 that his willingness to 1) embrace his sins, 2) acknowledge wrongdoings, 3) repent and confess, 4) choose to be in God’s mercy. In our spiritual journey, this must be a constant reminder that we can only be children of God by God’s mercy and forgiveness.
We are children of God, but how? Because our sins are forgiven. We are children of God because we welcome Jesus in our lives. We are children of God because although we live in this world, we are determined to live like the citizens of the kingdom of God. We are children of God because we can face the challenges not by our strength but by God’s power.
You have to make that choice. By the grace of God and strength from Jesus, we have to ask and seek for the strength to make that choice and follow. God provides everything for us. Paul says, “just as he chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus to himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the beloved.” Ephesians 1:4-6 NKJV
It is God’s pleasure to see you turn and come back to him as children of God.
Your Choice
Each of us has this dual identity, a child of God, and chief of sinners. God already made a plan for you to be his child. But also, because we were born in sin, we are sinners of the sinners. The good news is, you can make that choice. You can decide which identity you want to take. Eventually, you cannot be both. It would be best if you chose to be one.
Paul explains this way in Romans 6.
How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so, we also should walk in newness of life. Romans 6:2-4 NKJV
You don’t have to have these two identities. You can choose to be God’s children by accepting Christ in your life.
There was a man who was homeless. He was abused many times on the street, and he did not have any hope. He did not know where he came from, and he did not know where to find hope. One day he was begging for money on the street, and he saw the government officials out on the road. He thought, maybe he has to run away from them. All of a sudden, they called this man. “Hey, we want to talk to you!” This man turned and told them, “I will move away from here. I will not cause any problems.” The government officials responded differently than in the past. “Our king wants to invite you as a special guest, can you come with us to the palace? We have a special wedding banquet ready for you. The king wants to have you as a special guest.” This man wasn’t sure what to say. “The king wants me to be in his palace? For the wedding banquet? Why? Does he know me? Have I done something wrong?” The government official responded. “That’s up to him. You did not do anything wrong. It is his will to have you come to the palace, and actually, he wants you to stay there with him.” This homeless man became speechless. He tried to figure out why but he couldn’t think of why. The government officials told him more. “You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to pay anything. Everything is prepared. You can go with us.” He was shocked but filled with joy. He thought I would go with these people, and he began to pick up his stuff. He picked up the picket sign, which says, “Please help me! God bless you.” He picked up this backpack, full of stuff that he gathered just in case. He picked up a plate that he used to use. The government officials talked to him. “Sir, you don’t have to bring those to the palace, you will have everything necessary.”
You don’t need a “chief of sinners” identity in our Father’s house. Why don’t you accept Christ and get the new ID as a citizen of God’s kingdom! Don’t try to go back and forth. Jesus is calling you. Just follow him, you won’t regret it.
